Do you ever struggle to ask for what you want in bed? 💖
Maybe you don’t know what to say…
Maybe you don’t want to hurt your partner’s feelings…
Or you don’t want to admit that s.e.x has been more like a chore than a joy.
The good news?
Asking for what you want can be easy, fun, and can feel GOOD for you both.
Here’s how to confidently ask for what you want in bed… and beyond. 💃
#1: Give Yourself Permission ✨
What you want is important. Give yourself full-on permission to ask for it. You have a right to want it and ask for it!
Let’s say your love language is words of affirmation. Maybe you want to be told you look beautiful… or that your booty looks luscious. 🍑
Maybe you want to be touched in a firm way or in a soft, gentle way. Maybe you want to talk and cuddle with your partner before heating things up.
You don’t have to explain WHY you want it. And you don’t have to feel any shame about it. We were raised with shame around s.e.x, so you might feel shame while asking, but just feel the shame and ask anyway.
#2: Connect with Your Body First 💓
Place one hand on your heart and the other on your lower belly (or over your 🦋 or 🍆).
Take 2-3 deep breaths.
Bring your attention inward – out of your head, into your body.
When you’re present in your body, you’ll know what you want. The desires come from within your body, not your mind.
#3: Make It Fun + Flirty 🔥
Make your requests in a fun, flirtatious way. Use “I” language. Tell your partner what you LIKE and want more of.
💋 “I love when you touch me like this.”
💋 “I get so turned on when you do that.”
💋 “You know what I’m craving right now? I’m craving you going down on me.”
Keep it playful. Let your sounds guide them: “Mmm-hmm.” “Ooh.” “Oh, that feels sooo good.” 😍
Positive reinforcement keeps things sexy and fun. It will light you and your partner up!
Part 4: Show and Tell 👀
Let’s forget words for a moment… ASK for what you want through showing with your own body movements.
💫 Reach for your partner’s hand and gently guide them to touch you where you want to be touched.
💫 Use eye contact and smiles to communicate when you like something.
💫 Simply touch yourself the way you like to be touched and invite them to watch.
Let’s just say that you love for your inner thigh to be touched. Grab your inner thigh passionately with your own hand and then you can gently guide your partner’s hand toward your inner thigh.
Or sprinkle in a few words, like:
“Do you mind if I show you how my butterfly loves to be touched?” 🦋✨
Your partner will love the guidance and witnessing your pleasure.
I hope these tips light you up and remind you of your power. 💃
Your pleasure matters.
You are allowed to ASK for what you want.
The more turned on and sexually satisfied you are, the happier your partner will be. Your waves of pleasure can lift your partner up to new heights too as they ride your waves of pleasure. This is a win-win for you both!
And remember… your partner wants to bring you pleasure. They care about you. They love you. They might just need a little guidance 😉
If this article spoke to you, comment below and tell me which part was most helpful — I’d love to hear from you 💌
P.S. Know a friend who needs to hear this? Share this article with her 💞
