In my last article, I shared 6 Sparkling Reasons to Self-Pleasure. International Self-Pleasure Day is today, May 28.
As I shared in my last article, self-pleasure is self-care. It boosts our creativity, mood, and energy, helps us receive intuitive guidance, and much more. š
As promised, this article explores what to do if you’re not in the mood.
As a quick note, if you’re new here or want a quick refresher, I am Courtney Fae Long, Sexuality Educator, Author, and Master’s Level Social Worker.
I help spiritual adults like you toĀ make magic in the bedroom.
When you light your sexual fire and learn how to harness theĀ creative power of your sexual energy, your afterglow extends beyond the bedroom and uplevels your life, including your love life, s.e.x life, business/career, and financial abundance.
Ok, back to today’s topic…
If you haven’t been feeling turned on and sexually excited lately, I get it.
How do you get in the mood for self-pleasure?
5 Steps to Get in the Mood for Self-Pleasure
Note: If you have a partner, these steps can also help with getting in the mood for lovemaking with your partner.
(1) Self-Pleasure is Sacred
Self-pleasure (also known as mast.urbation), is not shameful. It is good, healthy, natural, and sacred! It’s for self-care and self-love. Thereās no shame in it.Ā Give yourself permission to enjoy pleasure.Ā You are worthy and deserving of it.
(2) Prepare a Beautiful Space
When making love to a partner, we often set the mood with special lighting, flowers, or music. Why not take this level of care and preparation for ourselves?
Make it a special experienceĀ (and even long and luxurious), rather than a 5-minute stress reliever. Light candles, play music, wear something that makes you feel beautiful, lie on a cozy blanket, or take a relaxing bath to get in the mood.
(3) Get Relaxed
We live in a fast-paced, stressful world.Ā Did you know that stress kills our libido?
When we relax, our body has a better chance of getting in the mood. When our parasympathetic nervous system is activated (the “rest and digest” system), our heart rate slows down, our muscles relax, and our mind becomes calm. This creates the perfect environment for sexual arousal.
Before making love, lie down and rest for 15-20 minutes. Take deep breaths and enjoy relaxing your mind, body, and spirit. This allows your own natural desire to emerge.
What helps you to relax? Do things like deep breathing, yoga, meditation, or spending time in nature, which can help your nervous system get in the mood for sexual pleasure.
(4) Prepare Your Mind, Body, and Spirit for Pleasure
Before you enter a self-pleasure experience,Ā prepare your mind, body and spirit. Prepare your mind by setting aside stress or writing a worry list. Prepare your body by doing grounding exercises. Prepare your spirit by calling on your higher self in a mini meditation and setting an intention for your self-pleasure experience.
Examples of intentions: Connect with myself, release stress, infuse my body with love, receive intuitive guidance about a question in my life, etc.
(5) Start with Sensual Touch
While men tend to start self-pleasure with genital touch, women often need more warm-up time before being ready to touch their sacred mariposa. š¦
Start with sensual touch. Gently squeeze your arms and legs to bring presence into your body. Or use coconut oil or lotion to massage your arms, legs, stomach, face, and/or breasts.
Touch your genitals IF and when you feel inspired to. Let the inspiration come from your body, not from your mind. There is no “should” in self-pleasure.
A self-pleasure experience can be complete without genital touch! What?!?
Yes!Ā Self-pleasure is about showing yourself love, taking time out for you, and enjoying pleasure.Ā It doesn’t have to be sexual. The intention is for it to be nourishing.
